Richard Peter Johnson

Richard Peter Johnson
28/08/2004
21 years
Student
Manchester England.
Richard will be dearly missed by his mum Yvonne and his stepfather Graham, he is the youngest of five.
Brothers Michael and Mark, and sisters Amanda, Carrie.
He was loving, caring, sensitive, gentle and could be a joker .... his sense of homour was wonderful!
Richard came into this world very permaturly at 26 weeks, he could fit into the palm of my hand.
He fought many hurdles in his young life to survive, he had been so poorly in the early days.
Why Richard took his own life remains a mystery, there are some clues, money, broke up with his girlfriend ...... But the 'WHYS' remain.
All I do know is my heart is broken, and Richard is so missed by us.
Sometimes I believe in the afterlife, and then I don't!
I just hope there is one so we can all be together again as a family once more.

*I wish to thank each and everyone of my lovely GTS friends for looking after Richard, I have been unable to light candles or leave any poems, due to a loss in my family and a Granddaughter being very 'ill' and needing us to stick together as a family.
Please know you are all very much in my thoughts and prayers. *




*♥* *♥* **♥* *♥*
*♥*

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║║╔═╦╦╦═║╚╝╠═╦╦╗ *♥* *♥*
║╚╣║║║║╩╣╗╔╣║║║║
╚═╩═╩═╩═╝╚╝╚═╩═╝ *♥*

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I look at his photos .... now three years on, and it makes me so sad to think there will be no more to add to.
Richard IS and always will be part of our lives and for now the jigsaw is undone, we needed him to make it complete.


A little bit of you, and a little bit of me, have switched respective places in a mystifying " we ".
When miles come between us, and our lives are drawn apart, our thoughts remain together, tugging softly at the heart.

This lonliness without you, tells of special moments shared, and says across the miles, just how much we've always cared.

The emptiness that comes, with just the memory of your touch, stirs a feeling from within, that says, I miss you very much.

Goodbye's Aren't Forever

Some people think that goodbye's are forever
but goodbye's aren't forever...
it's just that sometimes their..
are just things in your life that..
just changes things forever
there will be people you meet
that will come and go
and you know..
that the ones you meet and that stay
you build memories and memories last forever
forever in your heart your precious memories will stay
don't stay in the past, look to the future theres always a new day
you'll miss your loved ones always and forever
but just remember that goodbye's aren't forever
people come and go and some leave footprints in your heart
they may be gone, you can't see or hear them but they are there
and have always been there still just like they have from the start
love them and cherish them like you always have and remember them forever
because you can agree or disagree but goodbye's aren't forever
so when I am gone remember me
like the song by Tim McCraw "Please Remember Me"
and forever in your hearts I'll be
don't be sad I'm gone, it's still forever you and me
you'll hold me close to your heart..and leave you I'll never
because goodbye's aren't forever.....

*♥* *♥* **♥* *♥*
*♥*

╔╗★
║║╔═╦╦╦═║╚╝╠═╦╦╗ *♥* *♥*
║╚╣║║║║╩╣╗╔╣║║║║
╚═╩═╩═╩═╝╚╝╚═╩═╝ *♥*

*♥*
*♥* *♥*



Coping with Suicide Loss


One learns to live with the loss, the tragedy, the waste, and the gaping hole
in the fabric of one's life. There is no closure, nor would I want one. I want
to remember him all my life, vividly: his laughter, the smell of his trainers
under his bed, his moments of joy, his humility, and his integrity. Some
survivors struggle with what to tell other people. Although you should make
whatever decision feels right to you, most survivors have found it best to
simply acknowledge that their loved one died by suicide.
You may find that it helps to reach out to family and friends. Because some
people may not know what to say, you may need to take the initiative to talk
about the suicide, share your feelings, and ask for their help.
Even though it may seem difficult, maintaining contact with other people is
especially important during the stress-filled months after a loved one's
suicide.
Keep in mind that each person grieves in his or her own way. Some people visit
the cemetery weekly; others find it too painful to go at all.
Each person also grieves at his or her own pace; there is no set rhythm or
timeline for healing.
Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may be especially difficult, so you
might want to think about whether to continue old traditions or create some
new ones. You may also experience unexpected waves of sadness; these are a
normal part of the grieving process.
Children experience many of the feelings of adult grief, and are particularly
vulnerable to feeling abandoned and guilty. Reassure them that the death was
not their fault. Listen to their questions, and try to offer honest,
straightforward, age-appropriate answers.
Some survivors find comfort in community, religious, or spiritual activities,
including talking to a trusted member of the clergy.
Be kind to yourself. When you feel ready, begin to go on with your life.
Eventually starting to enjoy life again is not a betrayal of your loved one,
but rather a sign that you've begun to heal.
*♥* *♥* **♥* *♥*
*♥*

╔╗★
║║╔═╦╦╦═║╚╝╠═╦╦╗ *♥* *♥*
║╚╣║║║║╩╣╗╔╣║║║║
╚═╩═╩═╩═╝╚╝╚═╩═╝ *♥*

*♥*
*♥* *♥*









Really gonna miss you.
Really gonna miss you
Its really gonna be different without you
Time is going to be hard and slow
For the rest of my life
Gonna be thinking about you
Yes I am
Time came when you had to go
I'll miss you my buddy
I'll miss you my friend
I promise my love for you will never end
In your finest hour I was there with you
And without you things won't be the same
But there's a higher power that we answer to
And you heard him calling your name
Really gonna miss you
Everything about you your smiling face
I know you want us all to be strong
Really gonna miss you
I know your going to that magic place
Singing you a brand new song
I'll miss you my buddy
I'll miss you my friend
I promise my love for you will never end
Really Gonna Miss You.
*******
This song by the Hollies was chosen by my oldest son's Michael and Mark.
It played as both they, along with my two brothers, and Richard father and step Father carried his coffin in to the church.

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another.

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
**********************

The scientist by cold play was choosen by Amanda & carrie, Richard's big sisters and was played at his funeral.

Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start

Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Comin’ our tails, Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start

I was just guessin’, At numbers and figures, Pullin’ the puzzles apart

Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, Come back to haunt me, Oh when I rush to the start

Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Chasin’ our tails, Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Aww It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m goin’ back to the start

Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo


If only ..... A phone call from heaven.

Ring ring ring
Yvonne: Hello?

Richard: Mum, Its Richard!

Yvonne: Who is this ... why are you doing this to me?

Richard: Mum its me, remember you said you never wanted to talk to
me again?

Yvonne: Richard is this really you?

Richard: yes mum its me, i love you mum and am sorry for all the
pain, i
know now you never meant to say those's words...... But mum, please
listen there
was so much going on in my life that i could not see any other way
out of it!

Yvonne: I never meant to hurt you Richard, i love you with all my
heart and
soul, as i do your brothers and sisters!

Richard: i know, i knew that then ... but i could not stop any
longer, i
needed to go!

Yvonne: my life is so empty, i am not the same person WE need you
back in
our lives in body and spirit! You are so missed my sonshine so missed!

Richard: Mum i am with you all the time, more than when i was on
earth, you
think of me every hour of the day!
You did not when i was on earth!

Yvonne: Do you Forgive me?

Richard: mum there is nothing to forgive! I know you love me and i
love you
mum..... I am sorry, but my new friends need to use the phone as
well, theirs
mum and Dads need to know they are ok as i am. I love you mum and my
Dad, and
my Brothers and Sisters, and the nieces ... and billy and Ruby who
have come
since i left Earth!

Yvonne: my sonshine i love you

Richard: Mum, i love you, and will be waiting when your turn
comes..... bye
mum byeeeee


*♥* *♥* **♥* *♥*
*♥*

╔╗★
║║╔═╦╦╦═║╚╝╠═╦╦╗ *♥* *♥*
║╚╣║║║║╩╣╗╔╣║║║║
╚═╩═╩═╩═╝╚╝╚═╩═╝ *♥*

*♥*
*♥* *♥*



Michael, Richard's eldest brother choose this song for Richard.

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one


*♥* *♥* **♥* *♥*
*♥*

╔╗★
║║╔═╦╦╦═║╚╝╠═╦╦╗ *♥* *♥*
║╚╣║║║║╩╣╗╔╣║║║║
╚═╩═╩═╩═╝╚╝╚═╩═╝ *♥*

*♥*
*♥* *♥*